The REAL thoughts, Musings and Movements of Lauren Michele~One[1]L in REAL TIME. Enjoy the ride!

Archive for September, 2012

MY…How I’ve Grown

So as I’m over here  reading through old messages with friends and acquaintances from college I’ve concluded, that I wasn’t very nice. Especially as it pertained to men. In these old chats, when they began I was friendly, but then as it progressed and I got annoyed or rubbed the wrong way, I would have an instant attitude. As I read the message now, I find myself asking: what was wrong with me? I was starting arguments with people, speaking in a tone drenched with attitude seemingly unprovoked. I know how much I can’t stand an attitude so, what was that about?

After reading these messages I feel the need to text the people(if they’re still in my phone) and apologize for my rudeness. Apologize for my 20-year-old self that is because I’m certainly not like that anymore. Now, if someone gets me that turnt up I just cut off communication, there’s really no need for an attitude.

As I reflect there are all sorts of things that I do now that I was adamantly against when I was younger.  I began reflecting on this thought the other day and the more I think about it the more changes and improvements I can list.

General maintenance Things

Getting a manicure on my REAL nails vs. acrylics.

wearing actual colors on my real nails

wearing any makeup more than lip gloss,

Opting to cook vs. eating out all the time

Opting to walk places vs. always driving or catching a ride (if my destination is actually walking distance).

Opting to take the train somewhere vs. driving and having my own car (depending on the city, anywhere in the south a car will still be necessary)

Food preferences such as:

Ordering more than just a plain sandwich.

Ordering something different besides some variation of chicken (don’t get it twisted I STILL order a chicken dish but now I’m open to alternative options)

Getting cheese on my hamburger…SWISS cheese no less.

Drinking smoothies.

  • I’m a milkshake girl preferably but I’ve broaden the horizons of my taste buds to now include strawberry-banana smoothies. Even going so far as to drive 20 minutes away to get one of the best smoothies I’ve ever experienced and it was only at a mall food court)

Social Interactions with people

I’m calm in crisis or emergency situations

  • I’m sure my mom could attest to this better but I’m told back in the day I used to put on a performance, in great mountain-out-of-a-molehill fashion. Now, I find that I like calm, collected people, so when I tell people things in an emergency I’m speaking very calmly so as to not incite panic. Where this came from, I’ll have to credit “Perfect Peace” but this is certainly a change from how I used to be. So I’m told.

Stopped arguing with people

  • This one was more of a conscious effort, along with being people free, to not argue with fools. I see absolutely no reason to engage in a back and forth with folk. I’ve found that when I’m interacting with a like-minded individual, we can have a disagreement and articulate both of are sides in an intellectual, calm and collected manner and reach our point without getting rallied up.
  • I’ve personally done this and the theory is proven so with that, I’m firm in my stance of not arguing with fools. People who get all loud and boisterous to prove their point can’t converse and as a result I don’t engage with them. Mostly, because I’ve found argumentative people are usually WRONG or arguing with themselves. There’s no need or reason for all the hollering.

Stopped being the passive “hate to say no” person 

  • I used to always do things that sometimes I didn’t want to do (such as helping someone move when I abhor moving) under the guise of “I’m trying to be nice.” But then I realized I don’t have to TRY be something that I am. With that, I need to stop worrying about hurting people’s feelings. If you’re hurt because I tell you the truth, there’s a bigger issue at hand here. The truth hurts and I’d rather be REAL and Honest than fake and adored any day of the week. You’ll thank me later.

I’m a 100% non-hater, who is able to compliment people.

  • While I’ve never been scared to compliment people, a lot of times I would just opt to keep the nice thought to myself. I was never a jealous person, but now I find I’m more excited for somebody else’s good news than they are. I’m just plumb not a hater, I don’t have a hater bone in my body, I find it more fulfilling to celebrate people. If I do encounter an instance of “envy” I have no problem stating it aloud. Really I don’t want what somebody else has, I want my own personalized stuff.
  • When I encounter something good, brilliant, funny etc. I actually reach out to the person responsible(author, comedian, executive producer, publicist etc.) I guess I figure I like compliments so I’m sure others would as well.

Conclusion: I love the grown up, more refined, enhanced and mature 25 and up me. I’ve found that a lot of things I used to worry and concern myself with are either small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things or were based on other people’s thoughts, concerns or feelings about me. When really WHO CARES What other people think?! If I’m not a danger to myself or others, I’m not offensive to people and I’m still considerate of others (which I am all of the above) then who gives a horse’s patoot if I wear certain clothes or don’t do certain things (sidebar: Such as getting drunk. Don’t nobody got time for that, I’m an adult college was years ago and while I never got down like that I’m certainly not about to start now).

This thing here is MY life, and while I still have  plenty more to learn and growing to do (I’m still not in love with kids yet), I certainly like the trajectory and growth spurt I’m currently on. My theme for the day: (among other things), I LOVE Me if nobody else does, and I’m going to continue doing me. If you don’t like what you see on TV, change the channel, but you’re not going to change me.

Thought this video was fitting:

*On Heavy Rotation* Toni Braxton

I don’t know if i’m the only one that re-listens to favorite songs now that i’m older, but actually understanding the words gives these throwback favorites a whole new meaning and sound.

Now, back when Toni Braxton’s “You’re Makin’ Me High” came out, I recall liking the video, I recall liking the song, but Toni has that deep voice sound, where you can’t always understand her words. I didn’t need to know what she was saying though I was only about 11 years old, so mumbling them out got the job done just fine. BUT now that i’m older and realize every word that she’s saying. I’ve fallen in love with the song all over again. I realize the lyrics are quite fresh(as in borderline salacious) so it’s a good thing I didn’t actually know what she was saying then. Now that I know I’ve literally been riding around with the song on repeat. One, line in particular, plays in my mind repeatedly:

“I wanna be with you, in spite of what my heart says, I guess I want you so bad…All I want…”

And with that I felt I’d finally put my blog out of its misery and list this on the heavy rotation list, because it is. Oh and discovering that the video features one of my favorites, actress Erica Alexander(Maxine Shaw on Living Single) makes this one EVEN better!

Enjoy!

*On Heavy Rotation* Case

I have been carry on about “Happily Ever After” by Case for a few days now. First, it came on Satellite radio the few weeks ago and I was like, “now why isn’t this song on my iPod?” (SN: No worries, it is now) So then I’m walking through the mall and it comes on and I go to change it but I couldn’t it just sounds so good, I not only have to let the whole thing play I also I have to sing along with the chorus (loudly if need be).

“Couldn’t we be Happily Ever After? We could be strong together for so long…” POETRY

Okay, fine. Then the other day, as i’m just chillin and thinking I randomly recall the perfect marriage proposal line in the first verse of the song: “I will be your man, your protector your best friend, ’til my humble life has ended and time begins again. Couldn’t we be?…”

With that, I think it’s finally time to gone ahead and give this song the heavy rotation designation because its been on my mind to many times for me to not post it and get the chorus stuck in y’alls head too.

Enjoy!

*Morning Playlist* “How Many Ways”- Toni Braxton

Now i’m not sure if this is because my love for the Braxtons has reminded me how much I love Toni Braxton’s music, but  I woke  up with this throwback TB song in my head for some strange reason and since my postings have been running on low fuel I thought I’d share.

I’m feeling really newsy and musical today… So standby fore more.

Also, my mind has been plagued with so many questions with the onslaught of all the foolery lately so that post will also be coming down the pipe soon…I’m eyeing Thursday, but you never know.

Stay Tuned…

9/11 In Memoriam: I Remember it like it was today

We Will NEVER Forget

When I sat down to write my thoughts, prayers and memories from Tuesday, September 11, 2001, I wrote about 5 pages worth of material. Not wanting to draw out a story that everyone could recount I’m electing to only post an excerpt.

Like how people remember when President John F. Kennedy was assasinated or when Apollo 13 was circled the globe…I too remember September 11…vividly. This is my story.

There aren’t quite any words. To say, “I’ll never forget’ or we’ll never forget” is an understatement. September 11 is so deep that even 11 years later it’s fresh on everybody’s mind. I’ve been alive 25 years and to witness something that is now going to be in history books forever…it’s quite astounding. I remember the beginning vividly, I was a freshmen in high school living in Nederland, TX eating breakfast before I left for school. The TV was on but I don’t recall paying it any attention. Mommy calls from the back- Turn it to channel 4( I believe that’s the channel but it was ABC/Good Morning America). One of the tall buildings in New York was on fire. I mean black smoke was billowing from the upper part of the building. I will never forget that my first thought with some attitude was: “why am I watching this?” I mean a building is on fire, I’m not sure why that’s on the news, but further more why would mommy have me change it to look at. So, I left it there and I don’t remember listening to or paying attention to what they were saying. From the little bit that was being said, the news people(Charlie Wilson to be exact), they didn’t know what was going on either. Then a few minutes later I watched…live as an airplane struck the other tall building(I later learn are the North and South Towers of the WTC). I genuinely can’t remember what I thought or did next. I don’t remember if I screamed “What?!” or  if I sat there numb, I genuinely have no idea what I said or did. I vaguely remember my mom coming from the back to the front where I was but I don’t remember if my sounds brought her up front or if she was just coming up there already.  I do remember not wanting to go to school. Forget school, these fools are flying planes into buildings in these streets, were my sentiments.

The very first thought at the forefront of my mind, (because this was still around the time where I was afraid of flying and if I didn’t have to be on aircraft I elected not to be), was OMG, I was just on an airplane last week (flying Providence, R.I. to Houston, TX) If this had been a week earlier that could’ve easily been me and my family on the plane. The previous weekend was Labor Day. Later learning that the planes Hijacked left from Boston and were headed to Los Angeles, was a trip to me because logic tells me, you get a plane in close proximity to New York but yet has enough fuel to fly across the country so you wouldn’t run out  of fuel, that would be descriptive of the plane I was on one from Rhode Island to Texas. But I was seated in my living room in Texas. Shocked.

I remember it being crazy, like I literally could not believe what my eyes were seeing, but I tell you what, I NEVER thought in a million years that the buildings would fall down. I mean I never thought people would fly planes into buildings either so there goes that.

So, I remember going to school, even though I didn’t want to go,  but if things got crazy I literally lived right up the street. I remember being in my 2nd period and there was a TV on with the buildings still burning, I genuinely can’t remember if I saw live when the buildings fell. But I’ll also never forget someone saying, they were concerned about other major buildings being hit such as the Sears Tower in Chicago. My nearest Metroplex was Houston, and I don’t recall them having any tall building of note (because that was my first thought) BUT they did have oil refineries though… I think I remember those being a concern. Regardless, I remember someone else telling me that they cancelled school in Houston that day. Smart move, those people stole my idea because that’s what I said we should have done, but as I reflect on my exact location and school, in small town Texas nobody was thinking about us in that regard so in school I stayed….

That’s really all I remember about the day live…Fast forward the days ahead, I remember the country banding together, I remember President Bush, in so many words declaring a war on terror. Then I remember us subsequently going to war.

This day is so sobering, because for the rest of my life I still won’t be able to fully comprehend what happened, it will never start making sense to me. To know there is a people out there that hate us(this country) so much you’re going to fly planes into buildings killing innocent people who did nothing directly too you? Is more than unsettling to say the VERY LEAST. I just don’t understand that. That’s some deep-rooted hatred, I can’t help but wonder what did we do that deserved ALL OF THAT!  2700+ lives lost that day, just in the 2 towers. I don’t know the tally for the pentagon or if you include the 4 planes including the heroic people of Flight 93 sacrificed their lives to save many.

I can’t commend our firefighters, EMT workers, and police officers in addition to our the men and women of the U.S.  Armed Forces enough. Their heroism is truly unmatched.

Yes, September 11, 2001 will NEVER be forgotten, but oh how I wish it could be by it never having happened in the first place.

*Flashback Friday * Sending My Love

I was scrolling through some of my favorite videos on YouTube and came across this 90s jam by Zhane. It feels like a fitting Friday song so I just had to share this quick hit with you.

“I am Sending…sending My Love to Ya…”

Enjoy!

The Company You Keep *Epiphany*

I’ve been thinking a lot about the company I keep and my thoughts brought me to this point where I’m cleansing my life of the tom foolery I’ve been entertaining from men folk. Below is part 1 of my series listing the things I can’t stand that I’m putting a stop too. Chief among them, is giving out my phone number and responding to nonsensical people talking about nonsensical things.

Enjoy!

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