The REAL thoughts, Musings and Movements of Lauren Michele~One[1]L in REAL TIME. Enjoy the ride!

Archive for the ‘Miscellaneous Live-ness’ Category

L’s DateTales Ep. 4 | Football FairyTales 2| #WhyYouLying


“Why are you lying, sir?” Is the theme of this rousing conclusion to my encounter with an alleged Defensive Tackle on the San Diego Chargers. After I investigate this claim I pose a question to everyone, because I really was unaware. #WhereTheyDoThatAt

Opening Title: Quick Recap of where I left off…

Be sure to check out the song I included in the credits…my first time hearing it was out in LA and it GOES!



Is The R for Rapist? #AskRKelly


Let me start by saying, this post is not about the recent dragging R. Kelly underwent on Twitter last week, while funny, i’m here for a bigger reason. This troubling piece on The Village Voice Blog “Sound Of The City by Jessica Hopper titled “Read the Stomach-Churning Sexual Assault Accusations against R. Kelly In Full is what leads me here today. This piece, which details the disgusting allegations filed against R. Kelly; features an in-depth interview with Jim DeRogatis, the Chicago Sun-Times reporter who broke the story and has been following it ever since. While I was always aware R. Kelly’s antics complete on that salacious tape and I remember his trial, I had NO IDEA it was quite this deep, this big or this serious.

  • note: when the first story about the allegations came out I was in high school about these girls’ age. So unless I lived in Chicago(which I didn’t) or followed R. Kelly, his press and career very intently(which I didn’t) this would not have been something I would know about.

However, this piece REALLY shines a light on the whole “R. Kelly messing with little girls” story showing that this situation is far worse than most may have realized.

DeRogatis speaks about how if you pay attention to the tapes of R. Kelly you can see him coaching the girls on what to do, and different positions to get in. They don’t look like happy, consenting participants but rather they’re just there. “We’re witnessing a rape.” DeRogatis notes.  And that’s exactly what we’re doing.

Now for me, up until this point i’ve mostly been indifferent about R. Kelly as a whole. I don’t care about nor do I buy any of his new music but admittedly the allegations levied against him were never the reason why. If an older song of his came on the radio, i’d  still sing along. Word-for-word. This theory was proven the other day In fact while listening to my iPod.  “Honey Love” came on and you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t a part of Public Announcement because I was sangin’ along, loudly! “Give me that Honey Looooooove.

This sing along  came to a screeching halt as R. began the second verse as the following lyrics,which sounded extra suspect, hit me like a brick…almost like I was hearing them for the first time. Let’s go to the mall baby, i’ll pick you up around noon baby…” right there my stomach instantly turned because it was so evident he was speaking to a teenager. What grown woman are you picking up and taking to the mall in the middle of the day?! That’s not a “date”! I would think anyone above 18 can make their own way to the mall. Gross!

It wasn’t until reading this piece today, that this thought of disgust was confirmed by Jim DeRogatis. One of his various poignant points, yes rock stars do some crazy things in their lives, but that’s behind close doors, out of the scene, they never throw it in our faces by inserting it into their art. Where as R. Kelly actually sings about what he’s doing to these young girls he’d been raping. The same line  of “Honey Love” continues: “don’t you worry about a thang. ’cause I got all the answers girl, to the questions in your head and i’m going to be right there for you, baby!”  translation: yeah you’re confused you’re not sure what’s going on but i’ll be right there to coach you, so don’t worry. Which speaks to Jim’s afore-mentioned point about how R. would coach these young girls in these videos. Again, I state: GROSS!

Doesn’t it just ooze a pedophile trying to lure a little girl into his fan?

In effort not to spoil all the bombshells I got from the article i’ll note a few points that were so “wow“, they completely turned me and my stomach inside out and got me so #turntup I just had to write-up a post about it, because no article comment was going to do me justice.

  1. He mentions Aaliyah a couple of times and her place in this whole situation.  The following quote, in reference to the earlier point about acts not putting their dirty laundry on display, is what took it all out of me “But if you’re listening to “I want to marry you[r], pussy,” and not realizing that he said that to Aaliyah, who was 14, and making an album he named Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number — I had Aaliyah’s mother cry on my shoulder and say her daughter’s life was ruined, Aaliyah’s life was never the same after that…”  Aaliyah’s mom was crying on his shoulder and her life was never the same after that…that just did it for me. I am TOO THRU… Truth be told, I thought the Aaliyah marrying R. Kelly thing really did end up being rumor, I never actually believed he was messing around with her all LIKE that. I stand enlightened
  2. The overall point of the piece is how nobody really gives a damn what happens to young black girls in this country especially in this situation. There were so many young girls victimized and many people talked to him, a reporter, to tell the story because all they really wanted was for R. Kelly to stop. One victim even attempted suicide after her “time” with R. Kelly. Everybody should care about this still, because these women are still, to this day, affected by this. Everyday.
  3. Lastly and most importantly, R. Kelly’s trial, back in 2008 which he was acquitted for was for Child Pornography. The sex tape itself having a young girl on it. He’s NEVER been brought up on [statutory] rape charges, which if convicted would have him register as a sex offender. There have been many allegations levied, and cases filed, but nothing ever brought to court.

That last point is most important, because he ultimately was acquitted of making a sex tape with an underage person on it (Child Pornography) but nothing was made of the actual act that was happening on the tape.  Add to that, the only reason he was acquitted and charges haven’t been brought formally is because the girl who was on the tape didn’t testify. According to the piece, her and her parents were off vacationing in the south of France (this was NOT an affluent family, they didn’t have St. Tropez money). He pays off everybody involved! He settles those cases and swears them to secrecy. Knowing now, how big this whole thing is, It’s actually more than disgusting, it’s downright outrageous. My stomach isn’t in shambles so much over the accusations but rather the fact that none of those girls will get justice.

I implore you, if you do nothing else read this article, get the whole scope of the situation.

R. Kelly has a serious problem and supporting his music is merely aiding and abetting. Imagine if all of Chris Brown’s  songs consisted of lyrics about choking and beating up women. Folk would probably write letters to the President and/or burn his house down to get him off the streets. NOBODY would support that. But R. Kelly is detailing how he seduces, urinates and/or penetrates under age girls as a full-grown man and he’s still headlining music festivals? What part of the game is that?


*Series* L’s DateTales Episode 3: Football Fairytales

LA ThingsI’m back with a little treat for everyone’s holiday break! This episode takes us on the journey of an interesting encounter while on a trip earlier this month. In this “tale” we’ll briefly discuss what it means to “get chose.” Not that this happened or anything. Enjoy!

Opening Slate:

The original title for episode 3  was “BAD COMPANY” but that idea was overridden by a birthday trip to Los Angeles that spawned an encounter so incredulous, It had to be taped immediately! …These are my DateTales

Scrolling Definition(s):



*Series* L’s DateTales ~ Episode 2: Loose My Number!

Hey Friends!

I’m back with episode two of my dating tales, here we pick up where we left off with the birthday boy who was left asking “where the cash at?” In this case cash would be his birthday gift. Unbeknownst to him, Lauren Michele doesn’t play those games, meaning he definitely played himself with that foolish inquiry.

See how the antics unfold below. Also, if you’re just now joining the series be sure to catch the first installment Episode 1: “Is This A Joke?” so that you’re all up to speed.


*NEW SERIES* L’s DateTales


As promised in my last post, Lauren Michele Live is coming. Today, I am super-excited to bring to you guys the first episode of my new series L’s DateTales.

There’s a  brief intro at the beginning of the episode but since it’s only on the screen for like 5 seconds I’ve provided some details below.

As a late twenty-something woman who attended college in a very thriving metro filled with pretty people (Beautiful people if you went to school where I did), I’ve been on my share of “dates.” The Dating Game was nothing new to me, after my psychology professor, Dr. Bell told us we should “date around” when we’re young(studies said this or something) I was downright a seasoned pro at getting a free meal.

Then came the move… Nothing quite prepared me for the UNADULTERATED TOMFOOLERY I would encounter once I left Atlanta and moved “up north.”

These are those stories.  “DateTales.”


One[1]LwWrites…Is Coming

coming soon

THIS TIME I return bearing gifs (well a 30 sec trailer but you know what I mean).  I’ve been “in the lab” tinkering with a few things.  I recently purchased a delightful Macbook Pro to hone and showcase my editing skills in an effort to pretty up some of the many videos I’ve made over the years(that are just sitting in my computer collecting dust).

Allow the following to serve as an introduction and please stay tuned as the fun has only just begun

RubberNecks R Us

The scene: I was riding up to a nearby Ikea with my girl, when we drove up on a traffic incident just as smoke began billowing. I, rather instinctively, grabbed my phone to capture the scene in the few seconds I could catch while we sped by.

While what was happening wasn’t funny, my soundbite did give me a brief chuckle. Watch:

A few takeaways

  • I was mildly nervous for an explosion but the incident was ultimately resolved (as the fire was put out when we passed back by 45 mins later).
  • Rubbernecking is a VERY REAL thing, because I whipped my head around too tough trying to see what was happening long after we passed. The key to successful rubbernecking is: if you’re driving, don’t try to watch what’s happening; have the passenger do all of the reporting then you get the scoop when you’re not driving anymore.

If anything, I would hope that if you come across a car on fire on the side of the road, you would call the police while speeding up so as to escape the possible explosion. #Message

*Heavy Rotation* Jay Z & Beyonce Part II (On The Run)

b on the run

I am NOT a JayZ fan, and while I don’t hate on Beyonce, I wouldn’t consider myself apart of the BeyHive by a long shot. But they cool. I’m kinda indifferent, about them.

I rarely purchase rap songs/albums, but upon sampling  “Magna Carta Holy Grail” I stumbled upon this track, which jams so hard I can’t get the beat and chorus out of my head. I’ve literally had it on heavy rotation for about 3-5 days now. Part 2(On The Run) is quite literally part 2 of their duet “03 Bonnie and Clyde.” While that song was cool, this is WAAAY better(to me)…by far my favorite song on Jay’s album — I’m not disputing or discussing the entire album or where it ranks because, again, I’m not really a Jay Z connoisseur– but if this was the only good track on the album, I’d be good.

Note: This is NOT the official video, nor did I create this video


It was ALMOST Funny * Let Me Explain [Movie Review]

let kev explain

My laughter was on the tip of my tongue but didn’t quite make it out of my mouth.

While I was trying to just keep it moving I can’t let this go without voicing what was missing from Kevin Hart’s latest box office effort LET ME EXPLAIN. It was cool, it wasn’t side-splitting but I expected to actually laugh more. What I found was happening was I was saying “Oh, uh uh this fool crazy” or “oh no he didn’t” to myself a lot but I wasn’t ACTUALLY laughing.

One thing that didn’t help was this one part where he was telling this joke that was supposed to be hilarious once he go to the punchline. The problem: he starts laughing uncontrollably before arriving to the punchline. While he did ultimately get it out, the thrill was gone. Him laughing at the joke was actually funnier than the joke itself…to me.

That part and the last joke had me wondering if he actually wrote his jokes/stories this time around because he usually doesn’t laugh super hard at his own joke like he’s never heard it before. Like, that’s like when I’m trying to tell a funny story over the phone and I have to actively calm myself down so that I don’t laugh the punchline out…and I get on MY OWN nerves when I do that…so imagine paying for a ticket to the comedy show and the comedian is laughing his jokes out(like Mike Epps does). You’d be annoyed. That and how short it is, like his set feels as though it abruptly ends, like he was tired of telling jokes so decided to just go home. It was odd. I mean coming off of “LAUGH AT MY PAIN” I expected something on the same level at the very least.

Honestly, the vibe and overall takeaway I got from the movie which I gather would be the same takeaway i’d get from a live show, was that he KNOWS he’s funny now. Not saying he didn’t know before, but it’s almost like he’s more aware of how funny he is which ultimately makes him come across less funny. Some might say: “he’s Hollywood now.” I’m trying to stop short of going that far, because to me he was always famous, he isn’t some new cat on the scene who suddenly got famous and is looking and acting like new money. He’s been doing this for a minute and put in work to get here-which I’m certainly not mad at- so I wouldn’t call it “Hollywood,” because folks who turn “Hollywood” on somebody start acting brand new, this isn’t the case here.

Here, Kevin Hart has clearly arrived, I just wish his stand-up was still waiting on its flight because maybe then I’d have laughed at “LET ME EXPLAIN” as I have all of his other stand up performances.

My point: while I really wanted it to be funny, almost funny is as far as I could get, but as Brandy so plainly points out, “Almost Doesn’t Count.” Perhaps he could explain, what was up with that

Can We Live?! * Trayvon Martin Verdict Reaction [Video]

I really tried to stay out of this. I was trying to just leave it at a few tweets but last night’s episode of Anderson Cooper 360 that featured one of the jurors who acquitted George Zimmerman, Juror B37, was so outrageous I just had to say something because my tweets weren’t getting it done.

Now this video ended up being an entire commercial free show so allow me to note the time code points of note for you to view first….then from there watch the complete video at your leisure.

Notable points/timecodes

:30-3:14 Title question posed: “Can We Live?” and review of the Trayvon Martin situation/Zimmerman Case

3:15-12:35 The verdict. My Reaction and thoughts on the verdict and case

12:38- 40:00 Enter Juror B37 on Anderson Cooper 360 and her Shenanigans- key quotes and foolish points from Juror b37 -and my thoughts.

20:20-21:55 Racism, someone accused me of being “racists” in my twitter mentions for tweeting how this case IS in fact about Race

22:46 Enter Anderson’s Legal Panel Weighs in

25:50-31:12 Not every black person is always trying to make every situation racial but this case is about race via Sonny, Mark Geragos and my points.

26:11-27:37 My initial thoughts when I heard about this Trayvon Martin story on Michael Baisden. “What was he doing?”

30:27-30:50 I discuss David Leonard’ “Dear White Folks” piece on more

31:15- 35:00 The Jury quote that TOOK IT ALL. Question: “Does Juror B37 feel sorry for Trayvon Martin?”; She’s scared of Trayvon and Sympathizes with Zimmerman.

34:13-35:30 Jeffery Toobin took the words out of the mouth of everybody watching in America. Zimmerman was merely “inconvenienced.”

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