So as I’m over here reading through old messages with friends and acquaintances from college I’ve concluded, that I wasn’t very nice. Especially as it pertained to men. In these old chats, when they began I was friendly, but then as it progressed and I got annoyed or rubbed the wrong way, I would have an instant attitude. As I read the message now, I find myself asking: what was wrong with me? I was starting arguments with people, speaking in a tone drenched with attitude seemingly unprovoked. I know how much I can’t stand an attitude so, what was that about?
After reading these messages I feel the need to text the people(if they’re still in my phone) and apologize for my rudeness. Apologize for my 20-year-old self that is because I’m certainly not like that anymore. Now, if someone gets me that turnt up I just cut off communication, there’s really no need for an attitude.
As I reflect there are all sorts of things that I do now that I was adamantly against when I was younger. I began reflecting on this thought the other day and the more I think about it the more changes and improvements I can list.
General maintenance Things
Getting a manicure on my REAL nails vs. acrylics.
wearing actual colors on my real nails
wearing any makeup more than lip gloss,
Opting to cook vs. eating out all the time
Opting to walk places vs. always driving or catching a ride (if my destination is actually walking distance).
Opting to take the train somewhere vs. driving and having my own car (depending on the city, anywhere in the south a car will still be necessary)
Food preferences such as:
Ordering more than just a plain sandwich.
Ordering something different besides some variation of chicken (don’t get it twisted I STILL order a chicken dish but now I’m open to alternative options)
Getting cheese on my hamburger…SWISS cheese no less.
- I’m a milkshake girl preferably but I’ve broaden the horizons of my taste buds to now include strawberry-banana smoothies. Even going so far as to drive 20 minutes away to get one of the best smoothies I’ve ever experienced and it was only at a mall food court)
Social Interactions with people
I’m calm in crisis or emergency situations
- I’m sure my mom could attest to this better but I’m told back in the day I used to put on a performance, in great mountain-out-of-a-molehill fashion. Now, I find that I like calm, collected people, so when I tell people things in an emergency I’m speaking very calmly so as to not incite panic. Where this came from, I’ll have to credit “Perfect Peace” but this is certainly a change from how I used to be. So I’m told.
Stopped arguing with people
- This one was more of a conscious effort, along with being people free, to not argue with fools. I see absolutely no reason to engage in a back and forth with folk. I’ve found that when I’m interacting with a like-minded individual, we can have a disagreement and articulate both of are sides in an intellectual, calm and collected manner and reach our point without getting rallied up.
- I’ve personally done this and the theory is proven so with that, I’m firm in my stance of not arguing with fools. People who get all loud and boisterous to prove their point can’t converse and as a result I don’t engage with them. Mostly, because I’ve found argumentative people are usually WRONG or arguing with themselves. There’s no need or reason for all the hollering.
Stopped being the passive “hate to say no” person
- I used to always do things that sometimes I didn’t want to do (such as helping someone move when I abhor moving) under the guise of “I’m trying to be nice.” But then I realized I don’t have to TRY be something that I am. With that, I need to stop worrying about hurting people’s feelings. If you’re hurt because I tell you the truth, there’s a bigger issue at hand here. The truth hurts and I’d rather be REAL and Honest than fake and adored any day of the week. You’ll thank me later.
I’m a 100% non-hater, who is able to compliment people.
- While I’ve never been scared to compliment people, a lot of times I would just opt to keep the nice thought to myself. I was never a jealous person, but now I find I’m more excited for somebody else’s good news than they are. I’m just plumb not a hater, I don’t have a hater bone in my body, I find it more fulfilling to celebrate people. If I do encounter an instance of “envy” I have no problem stating it aloud. Really I don’t want what somebody else has, I want my own personalized stuff.
- When I encounter something good, brilliant, funny etc. I actually reach out to the person responsible(author, comedian, executive producer, publicist etc.) I guess I figure I like compliments so I’m sure others would as well.
Conclusion: I love the grown up, more refined, enhanced and mature 25 and up me. I’ve found that a lot of things I used to worry and concern myself with are either small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things or were based on other people’s thoughts, concerns or feelings about me. When really WHO CARES What other people think?! If I’m not a danger to myself or others, I’m not offensive to people and I’m still considerate of others (which I am all of the above) then who gives a horse’s patoot if I wear certain clothes or don’t do certain things (sidebar: Such as getting drunk. Don’t nobody got time for that, I’m an adult college was years ago and while I never got down like that I’m certainly not about to start now).
This thing here is MY life, and while I still have plenty more to learn and growing to do (I’m still not in love with kids yet), I certainly like the trajectory and growth spurt I’m currently on. My theme for the day: (among other things), I LOVE Me if nobody else does, and I’m going to continue doing me. If you don’t like what you see on TV, change the channel, but you’re not going to change me.
Thought this video was fitting: