I was just reading this interesting article on Madame Noir.com that was talking about “Girlfriend Guilt” feeling guilty being the only one out of your friends that you grew up with who is actually accomplishing what you said you were going to do in high school. In a timely manner. Now I moved around a lot as a child, so I didn’t actually grow up in one place and wasn’t making plans with the same set of friends all of my teenage life.But I think about this “girlfriend guilt” it intrigues me because I think I can relate.
There were times when certain things might have been going on with me, that I didn’t feel the need to publicly broadcast to certain people because I was doing “relatively” well and they, in comparison, weren’t so much. Unless they asked SPECIFICALLY what I was doing, where I was or what’s going on with me, I didn’t see the need to be extra so I opted to keep it low key. Carrying on about how great my life is strikes me as boastful. If someone wants to hear a rave review, consult my mother I leave all of that to her, me I just say God is Awesome and keep it moving. But, I digress.
When I really take a step back and examine where my friends are and their life choices versus where I am I come to this conclusion: WHERE THEY ARE IS EXACTLY WHERE THEY WANT TO BE. When I recall and refer back to old conversations with my friends, we weren’t sitting around making plans to take over the world. We weren’t designating people to be God parents; although we did perhaps note who would be in the wedding and that — for at least 1 and a half of my girls — has come to pass, but outside of that we really didn’t have those discussions.
I was usually somewhere writing, running my mouth on the phone, or in my Radio/TV class or tied to media in some fashion. So, for me to move away(which was ALWAYS the plan), go to college and major in Media only to be pursuing a career in this endeavor now is right on schedule for me. For my girls who are currently married and/or have kids, that’s right on schedule for them. For the married or soon-to-be married specifically, that life is exactly what they always wanted, so because theirs came at 20-24 and mine probably won’t circle around to 26-27, that’s cool. That’s their life. I had this epiphany the other day and this article just brings it to the forefront: I NO LONGER(if I ever did) look at my friends’ life and think to myself “Man, what happened?” because THAT is where they chose to be, so I will do no more than conclude that THAT’s what they want for their lives and they are happy. It’s not my situation to comment on or even think about…that’s on them. I just continue to operate in love and keep it moving. But from having this epiphany that their lives are where they positioned them, it frees me from feeling any type of way about their situation because I didn’t do anything that they couldn’t have participated in. Maybe not attending the same university I did but the ability to go to A SCHOOL was at their disposal. If you elect not to take a sports scholarship because you didn’t want to move away from home, that’s your choice isn’t it?
To say, I truly don’t care either way, is a gross understatement. My thought is: If you’re happy I’m ecstatic. All of my friends know this and have heard me say it hundreds of times, literally. That’s ALL I want for anyone I’ve ever crossed paths with is for them to be happy. Just because their lives didn’t go the way I thought it might have been headed, really makes me no difference.
The article in so many words was asking, “where my girl’s are at?” but for my circle, I know the answer. They are right there(spread out across the country in their respective homes) still in my phone, and still down to ride (figuratively) if I should ever need anything. I felt the need to highlight my thoughts because somebody needs to just flat-out say it out loud. You do you, and I’ll do me. At the end of the day,(SN:<– I hate this expression) it’s really not MY business what choices you make in YOUR Life and with that no judgement or guilt will be cast on you from me. As long as nobody is in danger or a danger to themselves or others you all right with me.